Note to self

Write about ultra running lesson: refueling while running, resting while running.

Write about God and Jelly Beans.

Write about hitting the wall … or not.

Have you ever had one of those days …

… when you just cannot help but see the Hand of God in your day? These last couple of days have been rough. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually? I’m hanging on to the Lord with all my strength. And He continues to encourage me daily. Sometimes hourly.

My emotional roller coaster days have been filled with extreme lows and some more level riding. I freely admit that some of my stuff has been because I haven’t been so great at “guarding my heart and mind” as I should (Phil 4). All well intentioned … still remaining where my thoughts should not be.

God is SO into timing. The timing of a great conversation last night — a growth conversation with hubby, only to be followed by a SERIOUSLY difficult issue in the form of a scene on a TV show that threw my little world again into a tailspin. I am persuaded beyond a doubt, however, that God was even in the timing of this. What if I had been alone when my life earthquake hit? What a mess I would have been. Instead, hubby and I had enjoyed a sweet time, probably preparing me/us for what happened next. And while a very, very difficult scene of life was in part reenacted before my eyes, while my tears flowed freely and my heart ached so, I was yet held by one who knows some of the pain that has resulted from recent events in our lives but who still loves me dearly and wants to help me and us push through all these things. Yes, God is into timing.

Then this morning, I SOOOO needed to get “reglued” a bit, wanting to remain much longer in my QT. Ice and freezing rain were forecast and many things were cancelled in our area today. I found myself praying (I confess) that my Meals on Wheels route would be cancelled today (how selfish is that?) so that I could return from dropping one son off to work to be able to extend my QT. Instead, I got a call that meals were arriving to be delivered … followed by son saying he isn’t feeling well and calling in sick to work. So my QT got extended, not in the way I envisioned, but still I cannot help but appreciate the Lord’s timing.

Determined that though the enemy of my soul may try to derail me and discourage me from what I am called to do, I pushed through some of my “issues” this morning and got down to the business of studying His Word. Specifically, looking back on some of the places He has taken me these last weeks, searching for His fingerprints. I found again Psalm 73.26 and Proverbs 24.10.

Psalm 73.26 AMP My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart and my Portion forever. MSG God is rock-firm and faithful. TLB My health fails; my spirits droop, yet God remains! He is the Strength of my heart; He is mine forever!

Proverbs 24.10 AMP If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. NAS If you are slack in the day of distress, your strength is limited.

If I allow myself to become fainthearted, weary, and lose heart in my day of adversity and struggle, my strength is limited. I am limited in my ability to endure, to continue, to press forward.

My day of distress can look like many things: battle-weary, tired, perhaps frantic, hurried, harried, scared. Brokenhearted, confused, doubting, hurt, in pain. Vulnerable, exposed.

Then He took me back to some journaling about my “hitting the wall” of life — or rather and more specifically, my NOT hitting the wall in any of the marathons & ultras. I’ve run through some “bad patches” when the running hasn’t been all that great. But I’ve not yet hit the wall. He has shown me only recently that my “wall” is really His Fortress. I have long felt that I Run to the Lord.

I know that there is more I need to digest in the “wall” and what He has been showing me about “eating while running and resting while running” (a decidedly recent and ultra lesson). However, this morning, I am simply persuaded that His timing is awesome. As I was penning my last line this morning, my sweet hubby called … just to check on me. I nearly burst into tears looking at the caller id.

Yes, God is very good. And I love Him so.

Swim, bike, run ….

After running 10 miles through town on Saturday, decided to hit the gym with hubby Sunday afternoon. He wanted to do a swim-bike-run thing. Sooooo not my style. I’m a one-sport chick, to be sure. Not thinking I really ever care to swim much. Yes, I CAN swim. Just don’t enjoy it all that much. Still, the Y has a nice pool. And still, I was thinking I did NOT want to be in a bathing suit yesterday.

On the way to the Y, I was praying that the pool would be too crowded and that we would nix that part of the plan. Pooh. Once in the pool, which wasn’t all that warm, it was real obvious how LONG it had been since I’d really done ANY swimming. How awkward I felt. How terribly uncoordinated I seemed. How “other” sported. Did the breast stroke for a bit … still my favorite stroke. Tried the crawl but realized I was mostly inhaling my hair without a tie back. Tucked it under my goggle strap which didn’t work all that well. Realized that I really, REALLY like being able to breathe whenever my lungs need it … and not be so limited to only when AIR is available. Sigh. Back stroke went pretty well. Oy! Did my shoulders ache later. Managed only about 20 minutes of swimming … and thinking that was really quite plenty, thank you very much!

Changed (which was less simple than even I’d imagined once you figure in showering off, drying off, still not being dry, and trying to stretch on capris and biking/running gear) and headed up to the gym to meet hubby for a bike ride. The bike was pretty much not much of an effort on my part, to be sure. Even with resistence up, I felt as though I could have simply put my head down and slept while still pedalling. Sleep running is more difficult, I think. Went about 11 miles before hubby thought we were done. Butt seemed to have taken the brunt of the activity on the bike … which worked its way out of my system after several laps around the track.

The track was home. I don’t often run on the track, prefering the treadmill if I’m going to be inside at all. We were clocking 9 minute miles (waaaay faster than usual) and running around some little kiddos and their dad trying to pass time. I love running with and around kids; they run because it’s FUN! As it should be for me as well. I try to embrace their heart about movement and play. We ran about 3 miles before deciding we had had ‘just about enough’ and called it a day.

I am MOST DEFINITELY a one-sport . Love them roads. Love them trails. Love adventure, too. And I suppose that’s what made it fun. Sweet hubby may have dreams of doing a triathalon. Me? Probably not. Cross training with a purpose? Yeah, I could go for that.

But I like air.

Abundant Life. Lived Victoriously.

Isaiah 45.24 In the Lord alone are righteousness and strength (strength to achieve AMP).

The achievement is simply the ability to continue.

Only in His Strength am I able to continue.
Only in His Strength can I stand.
Only in His Strength can I do battle.
Only in His Strength can I move forward.

Only in His Strength do I have victory.

Jesus’ heart for me is to have life — ABUNDANT life. His will is that I live victoriously.

~~~~ I am struck this morning by my own very keen desire to RUN WELL. To Run well for the Lord. This thing called life is the Race. The Race of life. Not the rat race or the panicky, worldly attempt to keep pace with the fury and busy-ness of life. But the Race of Life run well for the Lord. THAT Race.

In the book of John (17.15), Jesus prays that we (believers) not be delivered presently FROM this world but that we be protected IN it. I wondered this morning about how much I have been protected from in recent weeks. In the midst of very great difficulties in my life right now — my little world turned upside down and shaken — the very core of my being tossed about — I wonder this morning how I have yet been protected. And I am thankful.

Yes, I want to run well. I want to pursue my running goals with the same fervor that I pursue my Lord and Savior. He pursued me with that same love and with tender care. I am forever grateful for that.

And in the midst of a troubled (life) week, I was moved to still put in some speedwork and hill training with the focus that those workouts, though certainly not my favorite and not particularly cheerfully anticipated, were quite simply tools used to move me forward. Progress is a good thing. Sometimes standing firm is enough; moving forward is the next and first step towards growth. Towards running at all. Towards running well. Towards victorious running.

Getting Started

I’ve been running for about eight years now (started at the prompting that I had more than a few pounds to lose). I consider myself an -onset athlete and absolutely LOVE running! It took me several years of training and running half marathons before I worked up the nerve to enter a full marathon. A half dozen or so of those later, my hubby and I completed our first 50 miler last fall with plans for a 50K and a repeat of the 50 miler this year. Sprinkled throughout will (hopefully, Lord willing) be some other halfs and full marathons along with some 5ks.

All that said, most folk think running 50 miles is pretty well insane. And I’d probably have to agree with them. However, the principle in running 50 miles is pretty much the same as running 5 miles or running a single mile. It all begins with the first step out the door or onto the treadmill with a purpose in mind. The first several minutes are usually not all that comfy. The body’s response of going from inertia to (what? -ertia?) movement. Forward movement.

Forward movement means progress. Progress means growth. It can be slow growth or fast growth. Doesn’t really matter. Growth is growth.

And year after year, that’s what I strive for. Running provides a fun, tangible way for me to do that. Running provides me the forum for learning. Lessons about running, yes. About my body and limitations, yes. Lessons about life, bigger yes.

Training for and running in races — from half marathons to full marathons to ultras — have taught me more about what I CAN do than what I can’t. It has taught me more about ENCOURAGING others than I ever dreamed possible. Running is certainly something we cannot do FOR someone else; we cannot run someone else’s race. We can, however, believe in people and help them believe in their dreams about running … even when they may not be able to believe for themselves. We help them believe (and we help ourselves) by continuing to run.

Them there’s my thoughts on beginning running.

Surprise!

Only about 26 degrees with a breeze this afternoon. Layered up … a lot. Figured that I’d get started outside and then move (quickly) to the treadmill. The sunshine was what seemed to be calling me outside, drawing me out. Since I soooo dislike both being cold and running in the wind, I’m amazed that I even considered this little 5 miler to begin outside.

Surprisingly, oh, so surprisingly, I ran the whole thing outside. In an unusual choice, I hooked up the earphones to worship music to run. The sun simply took hold of me and the wind didn’t get through the “ballistic” double-layer tights and about a four-layer core dressing. Songs that I haven’t listened to for a long time simply resonated in my heart. Worship flowed freely, as did tears, as I ran, seemingly unaware of how cold I ought to be.

For whatever reason, it was a very, very good run today, Lord. Thank you. I needed that.

Getting started, again ….

Another year, another year of running. Last year’s total was an impressive-for-me 1,557 miles. I have never been over 1,500 miles before! Woohoo! It nearly averaged 30 miles per week (29.94 to be exact … and I am only the running numbers geek).

I need to map out so many things … homeschool plans to move Steve along and move Chris towards graduation in May … running and racing plans for the year to move me and Rob towards the Frederick Marathon and beyond … my own Bible study plan, trying to hear the Lord specifically and clearly, and map out my study time with Him ….

Just for today, I’m going to try to spend a bit of time on each to just get started. Oh, I pray Your blessing, Lord!

Cold

Brrr ….  very cold morning.  Got a late start because I slept in nicely.  Had been out in the wee hours of the morning toting son home from show upstate.  Anticipating the huge storm today and didn’t want him driving.  It was very nice that the dogs let me sleep … boys were nowhere to be found.

Headed out with hubby at noon.  Planning to run the “Ridge” for 8 miles.  Turned out to be nearly 9.  Below freezing and with only a bit of wind.  My face was freezing but otherwise warmed up after a mile or so. 

 Was more impressed today that one of the lessons of the JFK 50 mile race is to embrace “Rrunning in the current mile.”  The difficulty of actually being able “to see” where you’re path is going (i.e., C&O Canal) coupled with little if any change in incline actually makes the retrospect view of the AT portion of the 50 seem much easier.  Of course, they might really have BEEN easier since they were the first 15 miles or so.  The latter miles were made harder by the prior ones.  Duh.

 Makes me know for sure that there is plenty of wisdom in embracing the mile I’m on … whether hilly, uphill or down, whether or not I can see where I’m going (think: flashlight trailing on the AT).  When I pray for an “easier” path, a “straighter” one, or even one that I can see “farther” or what’s coming up next, I’m more inclined to consider that that really may not be what’s best for me.  And I know that the Lord knows best … even if I don’t get it, understand it, or even embrace it.   I am, however, persuaded that that was part of the lesson to be learned. 

 It’s not enough to think that the easy miles running are really that hard or that the hard miles run are particularly easy.  It does cause me to wonder about “embracing the current mile” and what that means. 

More food for thought, Lord.  Thank You.

Split Running

Both yesterday’s and today’s runs were split. I ran some in the morning on the driveway and then some late in the afternoon to finish things up. Yesterday, for whatever reason, 5 miles just seemed daunting. Breaking it into two runs made it more manageable. Morning run on driveway and afternoon on treadmill. Did the treadmill run as a hill run with 1/4 mile repeats at 5% grade at 5.5 mph and then the next at 1% grade at 6.0 … to rest. Go figure.

This morning, I ran on the driveway in the morning waiting for the computer guy to show up to install some gizmos. Got just over 2 miles in before. Finished this afternoon with a walk on the treadmill for the balance of my 4 mile day. Not sure why it seemed too much trouble to change anything but my shoes this afternoon.

Still a good couple of days’ running!

Longer Long Slow Distance

Hubby and I ran in town yesterday, not quite 7.5 miles. Better than the 3.5 to 4 miles we had been running and calling them our s. Ended up quite frustrated with DH and just stopped speaking after about mile 2-3. In a way, it kept my mind on running just ahead of him … perhaps akin to running away from him. That describes my mood running. Ran faster than usual, too. Glad to be done. Emotional baggage with him as well with kids. Ugh.

Glad that the Lord met me this morning before church in my QT. After shedding some negative stuff, realized that a lot of my current issues developed in earnest after I really heard Him speaking to me a week or more ago. Gently, the Lord moved me to see that many of the things I’m struggling with are attacks which serve mostly to distract and discourage me.

It was good to have a bit of extra time this morning to with the Lord and listen for His voice. I know the THAT to which He is calling me now, and it seems abundantly clear that the enemy would rather me not move forward. Somehow, that gives me the impetus to please my Lord all the more.

With His help, I have had a better day today and look forward to a better week.