Have you ever had one of those days …

… when you just cannot help but see the Hand of God in your day? These last couple of days have been rough. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually? I’m hanging on to the Lord with all my strength. And He continues to encourage me daily. Sometimes hourly.

My emotional roller coaster days have been filled with extreme lows and some more level riding. I freely admit that some of my stuff has been because I haven’t been so great at “guarding my heart and mind” as I should (Phil 4). All well intentioned … still remaining where my thoughts should not be.

God is SO into timing. The timing of a great conversation last night — a growth conversation with hubby, only to be followed by a SERIOUSLY difficult issue in the form of a scene on a TV show that threw my little world again into a tailspin. I am persuaded beyond a doubt, however, that God was even in the timing of this. What if I had been alone when my life earthquake hit? What a mess I would have been. Instead, hubby and I had enjoyed a sweet time, probably preparing me/us for what happened next. And while a very, very difficult scene of life was in part reenacted before my eyes, while my tears flowed freely and my heart ached so, I was yet held by one who knows some of the pain that has resulted from recent events in our lives but who still loves me dearly and wants to help me and us push through all these things. Yes, God is into timing.

Then this morning, I SOOOO needed to get “reglued” a bit, wanting to remain much longer in my QT. Ice and freezing rain were forecast and many things were cancelled in our area today. I found myself praying (I confess) that my Meals on Wheels route would be cancelled today (how selfish is that?) so that I could return from dropping one son off to work to be able to extend my QT. Instead, I got a call that meals were arriving to be delivered … followed by son saying he isn’t feeling well and calling in sick to work. So my QT got extended, not in the way I envisioned, but still I cannot help but appreciate the Lord’s timing.

Determined that though the enemy of my soul may try to derail me and discourage me from what I am called to do, I pushed through some of my “issues” this morning and got down to the business of studying His Word. Specifically, looking back on some of the places He has taken me these last weeks, searching for His fingerprints. I found again Psalm 73.26 and Proverbs 24.10.

Psalm 73.26 AMP My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the Rock and firm Strength of my heart and my Portion forever. MSG God is rock-firm and faithful. TLB My health fails; my spirits droop, yet God remains! He is the Strength of my heart; He is mine forever!

Proverbs 24.10 AMP If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. NAS If you are slack in the day of distress, your strength is limited.

If I allow myself to become fainthearted, weary, and lose heart in my day of adversity and struggle, my strength is limited. I am limited in my ability to endure, to continue, to press forward.

My day of distress can look like many things: battle-weary, tired, perhaps frantic, hurried, harried, scared. Brokenhearted, confused, doubting, hurt, in pain. Vulnerable, exposed.

Then He took me back to some journaling about my “hitting the wall” of life — or rather and more specifically, my NOT hitting the wall in any of the marathons & ultras. I’ve run through some “bad patches” when the running hasn’t been all that great. But I’ve not yet hit the wall. He has shown me only recently that my “wall” is really His Fortress. I have long felt that I Run to the Lord.

I know that there is more I need to digest in the “wall” and what He has been showing me about “eating while running and resting while running” (a decidedly recent and ultra lesson). However, this morning, I am simply persuaded that His timing is awesome. As I was penning my last line this morning, my sweet hubby called … just to check on me. I nearly burst into tears looking at the caller id.

Yes, God is very good. And I love Him so.

Swim, bike, run ….

After running 10 miles through town on Saturday, decided to hit the gym with hubby Sunday afternoon. He wanted to do a swim-bike-run thing. Sooooo not my style. I’m a one-sport chick, to be sure. Not thinking I really ever care to swim much. Yes, I CAN swim. Just don’t enjoy it all that much. Still, the Y has a nice pool. And still, I was thinking I did NOT want to be in a bathing suit yesterday.

On the way to the Y, I was praying that the pool would be too crowded and that we would nix that part of the plan. Pooh. Once in the pool, which wasn’t all that warm, it was real obvious how LONG it had been since I’d really done ANY swimming. How awkward I felt. How terribly uncoordinated I seemed. How “other” sported. Did the breast stroke for a bit … still my favorite stroke. Tried the crawl but realized I was mostly inhaling my hair without a tie back. Tucked it under my goggle strap which didn’t work all that well. Realized that I really, REALLY like being able to breathe whenever my lungs need it … and not be so limited to only when AIR is available. Sigh. Back stroke went pretty well. Oy! Did my shoulders ache later. Managed only about 20 minutes of swimming … and thinking that was really quite plenty, thank you very much!

Changed (which was less simple than even I’d imagined once you figure in showering off, drying off, still not being dry, and trying to stretch on capris and biking/running gear) and headed up to the gym to meet hubby for a bike ride. The bike was pretty much not much of an effort on my part, to be sure. Even with resistence up, I felt as though I could have simply put my head down and slept while still pedalling. Sleep running is more difficult, I think. Went about 11 miles before hubby thought we were done. Butt seemed to have taken the brunt of the activity on the bike … which worked its way out of my system after several laps around the track.

The track was home. I don’t often run on the track, prefering the treadmill if I’m going to be inside at all. We were clocking 9 minute miles (waaaay faster than usual) and running around some little kiddos and their dad trying to pass time. I love running with and around kids; they run because it’s FUN! As it should be for me as well. I try to embrace their heart about movement and play. We ran about 3 miles before deciding we had had ‘just about enough’ and called it a day.

I am MOST DEFINITELY a one-sport . Love them roads. Love them trails. Love adventure, too. And I suppose that’s what made it fun. Sweet hubby may have dreams of doing a triathalon. Me? Probably not. Cross training with a purpose? Yeah, I could go for that.

But I like air.

Abundant Life. Lived Victoriously.

Isaiah 45.24 In the Lord alone are righteousness and strength (strength to achieve AMP).

The achievement is simply the ability to continue.

Only in His Strength am I able to continue.
Only in His Strength can I stand.
Only in His Strength can I do battle.
Only in His Strength can I move forward.

Only in His Strength do I have victory.

Jesus’ heart for me is to have life — ABUNDANT life. His will is that I live victoriously.

~~~~ I am struck this morning by my own very keen desire to RUN WELL. To Run well for the Lord. This thing called life is the Race. The Race of life. Not the rat race or the panicky, worldly attempt to keep pace with the fury and busy-ness of life. But the Race of Life run well for the Lord. THAT Race.

In the book of John (17.15), Jesus prays that we (believers) not be delivered presently FROM this world but that we be protected IN it. I wondered this morning about how much I have been protected from in recent weeks. In the midst of very great difficulties in my life right now — my little world turned upside down and shaken — the very core of my being tossed about — I wonder this morning how I have yet been protected. And I am thankful.

Yes, I want to run well. I want to pursue my running goals with the same fervor that I pursue my Lord and Savior. He pursued me with that same love and with tender care. I am forever grateful for that.

And in the midst of a troubled (life) week, I was moved to still put in some speedwork and hill training with the focus that those workouts, though certainly not my favorite and not particularly cheerfully anticipated, were quite simply tools used to move me forward. Progress is a good thing. Sometimes standing firm is enough; moving forward is the next and first step towards growth. Towards running at all. Towards running well. Towards victorious running.

Getting started, again ….

Another year, another year of running. Last year’s total was an impressive-for-me 1,557 miles. I have never been over 1,500 miles before! Woohoo! It nearly averaged 30 miles per week (29.94 to be exact … and I am only the running numbers geek).

I need to map out so many things … homeschool plans to move Steve along and move Chris towards graduation in May … running and racing plans for the year to move me and Rob towards the Frederick Marathon and beyond … my own Bible study plan, trying to hear the Lord specifically and clearly, and map out my study time with Him ….

Just for today, I’m going to try to spend a bit of time on each to just get started. Oh, I pray Your blessing, Lord!

Cold

Brrr ….  very cold morning.  Got a late start because I slept in nicely.  Had been out in the wee hours of the morning toting son home from show upstate.  Anticipating the huge storm today and didn’t want him driving.  It was very nice that the dogs let me sleep … boys were nowhere to be found.

Headed out with hubby at noon.  Planning to run the “Ridge” for 8 miles.  Turned out to be nearly 9.  Below freezing and with only a bit of wind.  My face was freezing but otherwise warmed up after a mile or so. 

 Was more impressed today that one of the lessons of the JFK 50 mile race is to embrace “Rrunning in the current mile.”  The difficulty of actually being able “to see” where you’re path is going (i.e., C&O Canal) coupled with little if any change in incline actually makes the retrospect view of the AT portion of the 50 seem much easier.  Of course, they might really have BEEN easier since they were the first 15 miles or so.  The latter miles were made harder by the prior ones.  Duh.

 Makes me know for sure that there is plenty of wisdom in embracing the mile I’m on … whether hilly, uphill or down, whether or not I can see where I’m going (think: flashlight trailing on the AT).  When I pray for an “easier” path, a “straighter” one, or even one that I can see “farther” or what’s coming up next, I’m more inclined to consider that that really may not be what’s best for me.  And I know that the Lord knows best … even if I don’t get it, understand it, or even embrace it.   I am, however, persuaded that that was part of the lesson to be learned. 

 It’s not enough to think that the easy miles running are really that hard or that the hard miles run are particularly easy.  It does cause me to wonder about “embracing the current mile” and what that means. 

More food for thought, Lord.  Thank You.

Split Running

Both yesterday’s and today’s runs were split. I ran some in the morning on the driveway and then some late in the afternoon to finish things up. Yesterday, for whatever reason, 5 miles just seemed daunting. Breaking it into two runs made it more manageable. Morning run on driveway and afternoon on treadmill. Did the treadmill run as a hill run with 1/4 mile repeats at 5% grade at 5.5 mph and then the next at 1% grade at 6.0 … to rest. Go figure.

This morning, I ran on the driveway in the morning waiting for the computer guy to show up to install some gizmos. Got just over 2 miles in before. Finished this afternoon with a walk on the treadmill for the balance of my 4 mile day. Not sure why it seemed too much trouble to change anything but my shoes this afternoon.

Still a good couple of days’ running!

Running down the road …

… is MY idea of having fun!

Running in His Strength

The Interval Training of Life

Sigh. Things have been tough for several days at our house. Saturday’s (long slow distance) wasn’t as long as I had planned or hoped. We decided to run up at Gambrill State Park on a trail, but hubby’s feet began bothering him early and we hit the road as soon as we could find one. The total mileage should have been 8 but ended up a 3.5 mile run. Oh, well. I need to remember that I said I’d be happy running anything.

Today, mostly out of frustration with the intervals of life right now, I ran some SPD work on the treadmill. It is crazily blustery out today with wind gusts up to 40 mph so outside running wasn’t going to happen. I spent 5 miles calculating half-mile segments at various speeds in preparation for some YASSO training to prepare for the Cherry Blossom 10 miler in early April and for the Frederick Marathon in early May. The mind diversion from my woes of the day was a good thing. The woes are still here but I’m sure the run did me good.

In my QT (quiet time) this morning, the Lord was trying to show me something … something about the hyper-focusing necessary to do fast YASSOs. It’s not JUST focusing. It’s hyper-focusing. Running fast half-mile repeats demands a huge amount of concentration. I can remember using several different tricks to get through the 4 1/2 minutes or so: counting red dots on the T console, counting footfalls per minute, reviewing Scripture, going through prayer lists, focusing on the fact that there is only minute left … anything to get through the relatively short but fast effort.

The Lord, I think, was trying to show me that in these emotionally charged and challenging times with kids and a very sick dog, I need to hyperfocus. That ability to hyperfocus on the duration (hopefully short) of the interval or even how each footfall takes me closer to the end of the interval can be what gets me through it.

The flip side of INT running is that the strength or growth actually takes place during the RECOVERY running … not the fast running portion. Intellectually, I can get my brain wrapped around that; it DOES make sense. However, from the standpoint of the life Training aspect of it, I’m still trying to find my way. In these emotional hours and days, it only takes a minute of thinking to get my heart stirred up. The ringing phone could be a vet’s call. Flash’s whine, even if it’s just to change position, can restart energy expenditure. And with two teens, there is ALWAYS some issue coming up, frequently accompanied by drama.

So finding the recovery INT in my day seems like grasping oil. Maybe it’s less like not having the emotions stirred as it is more like reflecting on the emotions wrought. Hmm. Will have to think that through some more.

Running and walking

Yesterday I ran 4 miles at lunchtime, trying to squeeze it in before the afternoon ‘parade of adventures’ began. It was a good thing I did, too. The afternoon “quick” doctor’s visit with my son turned into a small surgical procedure in the office lasting a couple of hours. Picking up prescriptions for a sick dog as well as for my son tied up pretty much all the rest of the afternoon before heading to the next state (not really that far) for youth group with both guys. Home late and tired. Still very happy to have run at lunch … always a good day when I’ve run.

Today I just did 2 miles on the treadmill while catching up on some reading. That is the one really, really nice thing about walking the T. Hubby and I are planning to run 8 tomorrow, probably as the boys are helping out at church in the afternoon. Don’t know whether we’ll hit the trail someplace — which would be our first trail run after the JFK 50 — or whether we’ll hit some country hills or in town. I’m happy to run wherever hubby wants to. Got some new toe socks that I’m anxious to try out on a (long slow distance).

Finished up the Daniel/Beth Moore study last night, too. I really enjoy her stuff. She just so DIGS into the Word and just simply inspires me to do the same. Oh, that I would be able to get my little ol’ act together and organize my time better to do the mining I’d love to do! Lord, help me with this! Thinking I’m needing more discipline and more training in this area, for sure.

Theme for Running 2007: Running in His Strength

The Lord has graciously given me themes these last several years that incredibly cross between my running life and my spiritual life. Last year’s was Recovering Well to Run Well. This year’s, stumbled upon in January, has been Running in His Strength. What does that mean? What does that mean in running and, more importantly, what does it mean for LIFE?

Now, about 1,400 miles later — and let’s see, a relay race, two half marathons, two marathons, and my very first ultra of 50 miles later — the Lord continues to impress on my heart the lesson he started so many months ago. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think He’s done teaching me about recovery or about running in His strength and not my own. But this is where I am today:

Running in His Strength is …
Fixing my eyes on Him
SO THAT
I don’t lose heart
BUT
move forward encouraged and victorious
SO THAT
He may be glorified in how I run.